What Domestic Abuse Can Include

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 created a statutory definition of domestic abuse for England and Wales. The definition describes behaviour between two people who are aged 16 or over and who are “personally connected”, and it sets out the kinds of behaviour that can amount to abuse.

The Act is the starting point, but it works alongside other legislation—such as the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour—and alongside statutory guidance that explains how the definition is applied in practice.

The statutory definition applies to people aged 16 or over who are “personally connected”. Being personally connected includes partners, former partners, relatives, and people who share parental responsibility for a child, among other relationships set out in the Act.

Abuse can continue after a relationship has ended. A former partner remains personally connected, which is why post-separation behaviour can fall within the definition.

Physical abuse can include hitting, pushing, grabbing, restraint, throwing things at someone, and any use of physical force against another person. Sexual abuse includes any sexual activity to which the other person has not freely consented.

A single serious incident of physical or sexual abuse can amount to domestic abuse. You do not need a long pattern for these behaviours to be abusive.

Violent behaviour is not limited to contact with a person. Threatening behaviour—words, gestures or actions that create fear—also falls within the definition. Slamming objects, raising a hand, or saying what you “could” do can be threatening even when no one is struck.

The effect on the other person—fear, compliance, walking on eggshells—is central. Behaviour intended to frighten is abusive whether or not it is followed through.

Controlling behaviour involves an act or pattern of acts that subordinates another person, deprives them of independence, and regulates their daily life. Coercive behaviour involves acts or patterns that assault, humiliate, intimidate or punish, or are used to harm or frighten.

Controlling or coercive behaviour is also a criminal offence in its own right. It can include monitoring someone’s movements, isolating them from friends and family, dictating what they wear or who they see, and using rules and punishments to remove their freedom.

The Act expressly recognises economic abuse. This includes behaviour that has a substantial and adverse effect on another person’s ability to acquire, use or maintain money or other property, or to obtain goods or services.

Economic abuse can mean withholding money, running up debts in someone’s name, preventing someone from working, controlling bank accounts, or withholding essentials such as food or heating. It is abuse even where no physical violence is used.

The definition also covers psychological, emotional and other abuse. This can include humiliation, name-calling, gaslighting, undermining someone’s sense of reality, threats to disclose private information, and persistent criticism designed to wear someone down.

Because these behaviours leave no visible mark, they are often minimised. The law does not require a physical injury for behaviour to be abusive.

Domestic abuse can be a single incident or a pattern of incidents. A one-off assault is abuse. So is a course of conduct made up of acts that, taken individually, might look minor but together create fear, control or harm.

Context matters. The same act can have a very different meaning depending on what has gone before, the balance of power, and the effect on the person it is directed at. A “joke” that follows months of intimidation is not the same as a joke between equals.

Abuse does not always end when a relationship ends. Post-separation abuse can include continued control, unwanted contact, monitoring, economic pressure, and using children or legal processes as a route to continue harm.

Because former partners remain personally connected under the Act, behaviour after separation can fall squarely within the definition of domestic abuse.

Under the Act, a child who sees, hears or experiences the effects of domestic abuse, and who is related to or falls within the scope of a parental relationship with the abuser or the victim, is to be recognised as a victim in their own right where the statutory conditions apply.

This means that children are not merely witnesses to abuse between adults. Exposure to abuse in the home can itself be harmful and is recognised as such.

This article describes the definition in general terms. It cannot tell you whether particular behaviour in your situation amounts to a criminal offence or meets a legal test. That depends on evidence, context and the judgement of investigators, prosecutors and courts.

Self-diagnosing a case—deciding for yourself that behaviour “definitely is” or “definitely is not” abuse—is not reliable and can be unsafe. If you are affected, seek specialist support and, where relevant, legal advice.

If you recognise behaviours described here in your own conduct, the accountable response is to take that seriously rather than explain it away. Specialist support is available for people who want to change behaviour they are concerned about.

The Respect Phoneline offers confidential information and support for people concerned about their behaviour towards a partner or former partner. You do not have to wait for a crisis or a court process to seek help.